Picture this: You’ve finally reached a great place in your career, your home life is running smoothly (well, as smoothly as possible), and it feels like you can finally breathe and enjoy the flow for a moment. And then you get the call.
“Hi, Susan, your mom has been taken to the ER. She had a fall at home.”
Suddenly, a wave of dread washes over you. You freeze. You’ve just arrived at work, your schedule is packed with time-sensitive meetings, and now you need to drop everything to rush to the hospital. It’s overwhelming—and it’s only the beginning.
From here, caregivers are thrown into an unexpected and often unplanned-for situation. Multiple hospital visits, tough decisions about home modifications, the question of whether Mom can return home, concerns about taking time off work—do you take a leave? What do you do next?
Many of us have heard of caregiver burnout, but burnout isn’t where it starts. It begins with a crisis, followed by the constant juggling of responsibilities and an impending sense of doom. The emotional toll is immense, especially when no plan is in place. Suddenly, you’re caught in a whirlwind of emotions—worry, grief, anger, anxiety—on top of any pre-existing mental health challenges you were already managing.
The Hidden Crisis of Caregiving
Caregiving crises are often overlooked by those who haven’t experienced them. Many caregivers I’ve spoken with have said, “That won’t happen to me,” or “We’ll deal with it when the time comes,” not realizing the ripple effect this mindset creates. Some families even say, “Dad wants to wait for a crisis before we start looking into things.”
But here’s the truth: When that crisis happens, you—the caregiver—will be the one left to pick up the pieces. That’s why proactive planning is essential for both your well-being and your loved one’s care.
Steps to Prepare for a Caregiving Crisis
To protect your mental health and make caregiving more manageable, start preparing now. Here are a few key steps:
- Have the Hard Conversations – Talk to your loved ones about their physical health, mental health, and finances. Understanding their expectations and setting realistic boundaries will help both of you navigate future decisions with more confidence.
- Get Legal Paperwork in Order – It’s never too early to arrange Powers of Attorney (for health and finances) and ensure a valid Will is in place—for both your loved one and yourself.
- Educate Yourself on Care Options – Learn about available resources, including government care programs, home care services, and alternative living arrangements like retirement residences. Knowledge is power when navigating eldercare decisions.
- Seek Support – Caregiving can feel isolating, but you’re not alone. Whether it’s through a support group, a mentor, or trusted friends, don’t be afraid to reach out. Having conversations about caregiving, mental health, or balancing responsibilities can make a significant difference.
Resources to Help You on This Journey
Finding the right resources can be challenging, but here are a few to get you started:
- The Inner Shift Podcast – If you’re looking for a community of like-minded individuals who also feel overwhelmed by mental health challenges, tune in to The Inner Shift. Each week, we talk with professionals about the mental health concerns on women’s minds and provide actionable insights to help you navigate life.
- The Talk Mini-Course – Initiating conversations about eldercare can be daunting. My mini-course, The Talk, walks you through these crucial discussions step by step. Learn more at https://www.teaandtoast.ca/the-talk.
- Long-Term Care in Ontario Free Mini-Course – Besides the hundreds of resources available at Tea & Toast, I’ve also created a free course to give you a solid starting point on long-term care options in Ontario.
You Are Not Alone
Caregiving is tough, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Support, guidance, and community are just a click away. Take the first step today—your future self will thank you.
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